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A. You had your chance and took it. You were with this man back then, and eventually you broke up. That’s the story. Let it go. I don’t want to go full tough-love on you, but I think you

should know that we don’t get to do _everything_. You’ve chosen a life with your wonderful husband and kids, which means you’ve given up the chance to be with your boyfriend from years ago.

Take a moment for grief – to think about what could have been – but then move on from it. Honestly, if you ran off with this man, you’d have to mourn what you have now. We are always missing

out on something, and that’s OK. You say you felt something for this first love that you’ve never felt for your husband. Maybe that’s because first loves can be a bit more confusing,

magical, exciting, weird, stressful, and seemingly more meaningful than any other romantic experiences. Every now and again I wonder why my college relationships felt so huge, and then I

remember that at that point in life I was experiencing so many adult _firsts_ – and my brain and body were different. A local mental health expert, Monica O’Neal, was the first person to

make it clear to me that most people’s brains aren’t fully developed until 25. (She explains it better than that.) But that helped me understand why everything in my early 20s felt so big.

It wouldn’t be the same now. That applies to your situation too. Stop talking to your first love. Do not treat him like the answer to some question. He is an important part of your history.

But he is, in fact, history. – Meredith Readers? How do we let go of the things that could have been? What does any of this say about the marriage?