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PolicyAbout usView Subscription OffersThe Examiner's complete view of propertyHome/Comment/National OpinionJo Palmer | Forgiveness frees you from hate and hurtSeptember 7 2019 -

12:30pmSeptember 7 2019 - 12:30pmFacebookTwitterWhatsappEmailCopy7 Tasmania newsreader Jo Palmer takes a look at life in a world full of change and challenges. The ability to forgive is a

bit like a superhero power.

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50% off EOFY SaleAll articles from our website & appThe digital version of Today's PaperCrosswords, Sudoku and TriviaAll other regional websites in your areaContinue Not all of us have it.

And some of us only have it when it suits.

This week, the father of a young woman who was brutally raped and murdered in a Melbourne park, stood in a courtroom and watched the man who took his daughter's future away be sentenced to

life in prison.

Once the official proceedings were over, he then stood outside the courthouse and gave an exceptional statement that left many of us simply in awe of this grieving dad.

While he was glad a murderer was off the streets, he wanted this young man to get better and realise what he had done.

Then this grief-stricken father went even further and extended his sympathy to the family and friends who loved his daughter's killer.

He could see they too were in pain, perhaps not to the extent he was, but still they had lost a son who would now spend the best years of his life locked away.

How, in the face of such sadness, could he be thinking of the loved ones of the human being who had robbed his daughter of her life ... the person who had taken away the future he might have

enjoyed with her?

I sat in my usual lounge chair in the sunshine and pondered how I would react if this was a situation my family found itself in.

My instant reaction was that I would want to kill anyone who hurt any of my children.

I would seek revenge, make sure they suffered as my child had suffered.

I think for many parents that might be the first response.

However, I then began to wonder if that would be sentencing me to a life in prison, albeit a prison of hate, un-forgiveness and hurt rather than one of metal bars.

Forgiving is the hardest of the hard, especially when you truly believe you have been wronged.

But living a life where you are unable to let go and make peace with a situation must be a gut-wrenching, awful existence.

To let go, to forgive is to be free, is to set yourself free...

This "evil" man, as described by the judge will not see the outside of a prison for 35 years, so freedom will not be his reality for quite some time to come.

But this young woman's family will not live in the same hell.. why?

Because they asked their daughter be remembered for her kindness, not the cruelty she endured.

They asked that she be remembered for her wit and not for the way she died.

They asked she be remembered for her courage in the way she fought to stay alive.

Their ability to forgive has indeed enabled them to remember her in this way.

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