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Part of the fun of being a Stephen Colbert fan is never quite knowing what he’s going to do next. Co-headline a political rally in D.C.? Dance his way through late-night TV? Compare his

future guests to gummy bears? The new face of _The Late Show_ did just that in a recent cover story for _GQ_ magazine. And while many of his pre-debut interviews have been funny, engaging

and full of promise, Colbert’s latest sit-down seems … well … a little weird. Don’t get us wrong: We love when Colbert gets weird (Wrist Strong, anyone?). Still, there were more than a few

lines that left us scratching our heads upon first reading … AN UNEXPECTED _LATE SHOW_ COMPARISON “This show is [like the Food Network’s] _Chopped_. Late-night shows are _Chopped_. Who are

your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show. Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That’s what I like. How

could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor. _You_ have your own flavor. The audience itself is a base dish, like a rice pilaf or

something. And then together it’s ‘Oh s—, that’s an actual meal.’ ” ON HIS COMEDIC MOTIVATIONS “I just want to do things that scratch an itch for me. That itch is often something that feels

_wrong_. It’s wrong because it breaks convention or is unexpected or at times uncomfortable. I like that feeling. ON WHY HE STARTED MOISTURIZING “I have a face like a catcher’s mitt.” ON THE

_LATE SHOW_ "PROCESS" “The end product is jokes, but you could easily say the end product is intention. Having intentionality at all times The process of process is process.” ON

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER BITE INTO A COFFEE K-CUP “I am high as a kite right now! I tried to wash my nose out, but all I did was brew a cup of pumpkin-spice coffee in my nose.” ON HIS

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD “I’m a very uncomfortable person. I really like people, and I also don’t always know what to do with them. I have always had an eclectic roster of

friends, but there’s something about my work that speaks to a deep discomfort with being in society.” ON THE VALUE OF EMBARRASSMENT “I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to

feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The

discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you. I would do things like that and just breathe it in.” We might not have any clearer idea of what we can expect from _The

Late Show_ after that interview, but, if this interview is any indication, _The Colbert Report_ it definitely will not be. RELATED VIDEO: STEPHEN COLBERT, JULIA ROBERTS SAY GOODBYE TO DAVID

LETTERMAN _The Late Show with Stephen Colbert_ premieres Sept. 8 on CBS.