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A while ago I was talking to a friend in her mid-30s, someone who would like to be in a long-term relationship, but has never met the right person. She is seeing someone new and it’s not

going so well. He seems a bit odd. I asked how they met. The internet, of course. Is there any other way now? And is this how it is going to be, from here on in? Another friend is in her

early 40s. She would love to have met someone and had children. It looks like it’s not going to happen. Sometimes we stare at each other over a coffee. How is she supposed to meet anyone?

Neither of us has an answer. I don’t blame her for not being keen on online dating. It’s so _intentional_. Once you’ve met a complete stranger, and you’ve got on, well, quite well, how do

you stop it from powering forward? Are you going to meet for coffee, a walk in the country, ten times, twenty? Probably not. There isn’t anymore, an established adult way to hold back on

intimacy. So the gravitational pull is towards a sexual relationship with someone you hardly know; and in too short a time, wish you didn’t. Then the cycle repeats. You might get lucky one

day. Or you might find yourself trapped in a predictable cycle, increasingly feeling so tired of it all. Even the supposed intimacy is, well, starting to feel a little faked. I used to think

this was a problem for older people, the ones who didn’t meet the right person in their twenties or early thirties, or those who’ve divorced, expecting there to be a brighter future. I once

knew a man who separated from his wife after about ten years (they had two young children). He told me excitedly how he’d got a flat “off Sloane Square”. I don’t quite know what he thought 

was going to happen. Next time I saw him he was back with his wife. But I’m starting to worry that this is a problem for everyone. How are younger people supposed to meet each other? What

social institutions exist so that young people can gather and meet new people? I look around me and see nothing very much. Recently I’ve been keen on the idea of my children not going to

university. What a huge cost to the state. What a colossal waste of time and money, if they’re not heading for specific hard subject matter and an associated career, like law or medicine or

accountancy. If one daughter wants to be a chef, she could start out working in a local cafe. If the other wants to be a gardener, she could join a local team. Maybe a qualification could

come later when they are sure. But then I have this vision of them trudging down to the local cafe with two work colleagues; or working with a small team of gardeners. Then coming home in

the evening — to what? Parents and old school friends. But then what? Our local church? There is not a young person in sight. Become happy clappy in order to meet someone? Holy Trinity

Brompton, here we come! I’ll suggest they be willing to give anything a try. Sports teams do seem to be alive at a local level. But what if you’re not sporty? Does anyone ever meet a life

partner in a nightclub? Does anyone actually enjoy the thrashing music, the gloom, the near impossibility of even speaking to someone, forget coherent conversation. Local politics?

Conferences in Blackpool used to be such fun. Now Conference is corporate. I have a feeling I’m going to urge both my daughters to rack up three years and thousands of pounds of debt for

themselves and the state, and go off to university, solely in order to meet potential life partners. If not “the one” there and then, it would help them to develop a wide group of friends

that mixes and mingles and throws up new people and opportunities throughout life. Can’t we do better than this? Years ago I visited Pisa in Italy. It wasn’t the leaning tower that struck

me. I witnessed a phenomenon I’ve never forgotten. Along a wide central main street on Saturday night, the whole town was out. Cafes lined the street and tables stretched this way and that.

Cars were absent. The whole town sat, or walked. Young and old sat gathered at tables or promenaded up and down with linked arms. Now, surely you could see someone new there. Maybe spot them

a few times and angle a way to be at the right place at the right time. Back home, Covid is making matters worse. High Streets depopulating. Cinema chains shutting down. This last might

seem unrelated to my general theme. But it is not. Cinemas are a public place where people can at least go. Who hangs out in a library anymore? Soon the only indoor places for teens to visit

will be shopping centres. People in their twenties? Where can they go on a Saturday night to see old friends and maybe someone new?  The local pub? Apparently there will soon be 11,000

fewer of them. That is a phenomenal loss of shared community space, open to all. So, as a social Conservative, I’m suggesting a massive state intervention. After all, what is university but

a massive state intervention? But my suggestion will benefit everyone. There would be subsidies for all boroughs and towns throughout the country to find at least one local high street to

pedestrianise and incentives for shops to turn into cafes. I would eliminate any bureaucratic hurdles related to tables being outside. Street performers would be encouraged. Churches would

also play their part. Lets get the barn dances and the cèilidh started. If we build this, will they come? I’m willing to give it all I’ve got. Let the promenading and the dancing begin.